


Forever?

by FangirlFiles



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series), Thomas Sanders
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attack, Roman has a panic attack, Virgil comforts him, h/c
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-31
Updated: 2017-07-31
Packaged: 2018-12-09 06:45:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11663772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FangirlFiles/pseuds/FangirlFiles
Summary: Based on the prompt: "Roman gets extremely sad for the first time and Virgil has to help him through it" with the addition of "Make them kiss!"





	Forever?

**Author's Note:**

> TW: Panic attack

Roman ran his fingers over the bare skin of Virgil’s shoulder. It was one of those rare moments where he was without his hoodie, relaxing in just a black t-shirt. He was nestled tightly between Roman’s arm and torso, radiating heat like a cat. It wouldn’t be that much of a surprise if he started purring, he mused to himself.

It was perfect, minus the fact that he was beginning to overheat and he wished that he wasn’t trapped under a few layers of sheets. Roman closed his eyes and let his mind wander into thoughts of the future. He was creativity, and daydreaming was his specialty. He imagined the plethora of nights that they would have together, lying just like this. He imagined the dates that they would go on, to movies and the theater, to fancy restaurants that were way too expensive, to beaches, and more. He imagined them together forever. He was good at imagining what beautiful things would come his way, and he smiled a soft, relaxed smile and moved his hand to run his fingers through Virgil’s hair.

But something tugged at the back of his mind, something dark that he wasn’t used to. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. It was a small, black seed of doubt, tucked in between the forevers that he was dreaming of. It grew quickly, before he could recognize it or do anything about it. A new, warped image flashed into his mind. 

The image of Virgil, gripping a door handle tightly with tears running down his face. Roman reaches a hand out to him, begging him not to do this, to just give him another chance, to please, please let him in, but Virgil shouts at him to just go, and the door slams loudly in his face.

The image of Virgil across from him, sitting in a booth at the corner of a quiet restaurant. He shakes his head, hoping that what’s happening isn’t real and that they can both laugh about it and go home. Virgil’s hands grip the table tightly and he’s shaking. His eyes are closed and he’s running through the breathing exercises that Logan taught him. Roman tries to say something, anything, but Virgil tells him to stop. Don’t even try to make this right. And then he stands abruptly, knocking the table and causing the glasses to clink together loudly. Everyone turns to look, watching as Virgil flips his hood up and rushes out of the restaurant, leaving Roman alone.

The worst image though, was one of them lying just as they are now. Virgil is asleep, tucked into his favorite spot against Roman’s chest. Everything is exactly the same, except for the thoughts running through Roman’s head. Thoughts wondering if he even loves this boy sleeping next to him. Thoughts asking himself if he ever really loved him, or if it was all just in his imagination. He always was a dreamer. What if he didn’t actually love him at all? What if all of this, the pull that he feels towards Virgil, was another one of his daydreams, a lie that he tells himself to fit into his plans for the future? He had always wanted someone to love, a beautiful romance to call his own, what if Virgil was just someone to play the part? Was any of this real?

Roman’s eyes shot open and his free hand flew to cover his nose and mouth in an effort to keep from waking Virgil. His breath caught in his throat, chest heaving silently, trying to breathe but Roman couldn’t let himself. Not now. He had to be quiet and let this pass. Virgil couldn’t see him like this, he was meant to be the strong one. He was meant to protect him, and he certainly couldn’t do it in his current state. Not with thoughts like that. But his body was betraying him, shaking violently. Tears burned his eyes. He had never felt like this before. He had always been optimistic, even overly so sometimes. This doubt that he was feeling, this fear, was painful and heavy in his chest.

Virgil shifted next to him, pushing up onto his elbow and blinking until he was more awake. “Ro?”

Roman shook his head. He wanted to tell him that it was nothing, that he was fine and to go back to bed, but the words wouldn’t come. They caught in his throat and threatened to choke him if he tried to speak.

“Hey, whoa. What’s going on?” Virgil’s voice was laced with worry as he sat up further, rotating himself to fully face Roman. His hand pressed gently on Roman’s chest, feeling the violent shaking and rapid heart beat. “Hey, talk to me.”

Roman’s breath came in heavy gasps as he shook his head violently again. He was panicking, something that he had never done before but had seen Virgil go through many times. He felt like everything was crashing down around him, he was hyper aware of his own body, his own breathing, his own heart, his own trembling. He wanted to move somehow but moving was impossible. He wanted to close his eyes and escape, but he knew that the place he would go to would be worse.

“Breathe, Roman.” Virgil coached him through the breathing techniques that they both had memorized but that were so easy to forget in times like this. He spoke softly and quietly as the rising and falling of Roman’s chest slowed. Roman closed his eyes and focused on the sound of his voice, the low, gentle vibrations of sound that hummed in his ears. As he was calming down, he felt Virgil’s fingers running through his hair. It was pleasant and calming, and he never wanted it to stop. “Better?”

Roman nodded, but he didn’t open his eyes. He knew that the first question would be about what had made him so upset, but he didn’t want to think about that. He didn’t want the images to flash back into his head, the images of him losing Virgil--

“It’s okay, you don’t have to say anything,” Virgil whispered, continuing to stroke Roman’s hair. “I’m not really good at this, sorry. But it’ll be okay, you know?”

Roman stayed quiet, still not trusting his own voice.

“You’ve helped me through a lot of these things, and every time I thought that it wouldn’t be okay. But… it always was. Okay, I mean.” Virgil exhaled sharply, the closest thing to a laugh that he usually got. “I don’t really know what to say, but you’re not alone. Can I kiss you? Please?”

Roman nodded and he felt Virgil’s lips against his own, gentle and slow, calming. Virgil’s hand moved below his ear, fingertips brushing his jawline. He felt at home here, like this, and the light that filled him destroyed that seed of doubt immediately. How could he have ever questioned it? This feeling couldn’t possibly be a lie. The warmth of Virgil against his skin was something that he would always treasure, something that he could never let go of. He wanted to hold him forever, just like this. 

He let his arms wrap around the other boy’s shoulders, pulling him closer, but Virgil pulled away just enough to look him in the eyes. “Better?”

“Much,” Roman stated with a nod, placing a quick kiss on his nose.

Virgil shook his head with a lazy grin. “Dork.”

“Forever?”

“If you’re going to make this into some Fault In Our Stars shit, I swear.” Virgil mumbled before finally agreeing. “Forever.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, I hope this one shot helps to tide you over from the lack of updating on my other two multi chapter fics. My life has completely fallen apart lately, but I'm putting the pieces together now. This was part of a prompt writing spree I did to help get my back into the writing mindset, so hopefully my other stories will be updating soon. Thanks for everyone sticking with me, I love you all <3


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